A New Year, A New You

Each new year brings with it the resolve to finally become a new you. We see it time and again and try all these different ways to improve ourselves in the new year. I love that we are creatures who continually seek to evolve and empower ourselves and improve our lives. It is one of the most remarkable aspects of our nature, one I am truly in love with. 

In reflection of this past year, I can see just how precisely I have evolved in myself, and I can see just how I have contributed in helping my community and society evolve as well. I am truly proud of this.
In this coming year, I strive to continue to evolve myself and my community, and to always share and spread the joy, happiness, and the feel good in all that I do. I hope that you will do the same, and I wish all the best for you and it is my deep hope that you also find joy, happiness, and love in everything this coming year. Don't forget to share these blessings with others and continue to share the feel good in your way too.

Happy New Year 2012!

-fggofstyle
"look good, feel good, in style""

Related articles

• New Year, New Decade 2.0 
• New Year, New Decade 

Androgyny Me

It has taken the greater fashion-sphere to take notice of something that I have always known and that is: its better on the other side, of the gender dress code, that is. With more "mainstream" males and females co-opting articles of clothing from each other and wearing them with their own style, it was bound to become de riguer (almost) for the masses to take note and follow.

I have always loved that, through fashion, you can come to express yourself and carve out a sartorial definition of yourself, no matter how you chart the course. If you want to wear a tailored suit head-to-toe, or a prim and pretty dress with matching accessories, its all good. As long as you stay within the lines? Um, no thanks. We all have to remember that fashion is an outlet, a creative process, used for express of the craft/art and of the individual. It allows us to pick and choose and carve out our own individual display by offering us the multitude of choice. For men nowadays to wear women's clothes shouldn't be outrageous or strange, or for women to do the same thing as sexy and defiant. It should be, I feel, natural and unexpectedly expected of anyone to choose any style of dress or any item of clothing from any gender closet to express who they are.

So what if Kanye wore a woman's shirt (er, blouse)? He saw the art in it and wanted to wear it. And rock it. So what if Janelle Monae wore a tuxedo to the Grammys?? She wore it with gusto and damned well showed all of us a thing or two about tailoring. So what if Blake Lively wore a super mini pair of shorts to the Chanel Resort show in Cannes? She was wearing Chanel!

We all have choices. Pick and choose your own, and wear them because it makes you feel good, and look good, in your very own, gender-you style.

-fggofstyle

It is not the Future, it is the Now!!:

Is Gender-Neutral Fashion The Future?: style file: daily fashion, party, and model news

Real Boys wear Pink

Jenna Lyons and her son Beckitt
(photo via Huffington Post)

Congratulations for being an open minded and forwardly progressive and, downright creative human Ms. Jenna Lyons, by encouraging free play and creativity in your son by letting him wear pink nails. And painting them yourself. Thank you for fostering individuality, creativity, and fearlessness in him and by doing what comes naturally to children and letting him play and explore. In pink nails. In yellow nails. In striped and bejewelled nails. In natural nails. In his own skin, in his own way, in his own expression.

Thank you,
--from a child who was encouraged by a lovingly open mother and who has grown into a fantastically swell and creative, confident, adult human being not afraid to wear color.

-fggofstyle

New Year, New Decade 2.0

During this time of year, fresh off the heels of New Year celebrations and revelry, everybody starts talking about the changes the intend to bring in with them and implement. These changes, or resolutions, most of the time get lost and forgotten within months. We get bombarded by the media by "resolution stories" to the point of annoyance (to me).

I don't make resolutions, I make choices of evolution.
I intend to continue to change the way I conduct my life on many levels. I intend to make change in how I serve the world and my community. I intend to further embrace my creativity and my commitment to it and its expansion. I intend to strengthen my business so that it evolves and grows exponentially. I intend to grow my personal relationships and always express my love and adoration to those who are dear to me. I intend to continue to explore the scenes around me and share my point of view of it with you. I intend to always have an open heart, an open mind, and open eyes so that I will always see the good surrounding me, feel the infinite good around me, and to do it with my own style.

-fggofstyle

"Influencers: The Documentary"

  I see influence abounding all around me all the time. I have often wondered how this visceral sense I have about it weaves its way into an intellectual and concise actuality. Its the contiguousness of creativity, I believe, and to me, thats beyond...good.

Please take a look at this great documentary about how creativity and influence thrives in our culture/world. Click *here* to view "Influencers: The Documentary", a film by R+I Films.

Enjoy!

-fggofstyle

Indivisuality

I saw someone wearing the very same trench coat that I was this morning and it got me thinking about the saturation of great sartorial ideas in the market, and how it finally and actually trickles down to the masses. I began thinking of how this very different person could be wearing the exact same trench as mine, the one I wear with love to death. I began thinking of how, just the other day, I spied another person, very different in many ways, wearing an entire outift almost indentical to mine (different choices but same stylistic layout) and how *that* sartorial situation could have come to pass. I began questioning just how individual is my visual presentation, fashionably speaking. How does another person with a different life be attracted to similar fashion choices and keep their personal expression intact?
I think that fashion as an entire presentation is really a jovial carnival of choices. We get to ride on the ferris wheel of fashion and pick and choose when we want to get on or off, and to which heights we want to go. We also get to choose how we want to take these choices and present them to the world.  The whole carnival gets its joy from the revelry of its hall of mirrors, because at its center, fashion is visual, and it thrives on this point and grows and transforms from it. So what if another person makes the same choice as you do; its the freedom of it all that suggests it, begs for it, actually needs it to survive. It is a living, breathing entity of indivisuality, with many bodies, many minds, many expressions, many looks, and many styles.

I celebrate not only mine but your indivisuality; let it shine up the world and make you smile when you see another in the same thing as you. After all, its a reflection of you and your greatly smart fashion choices.

-fggofstyle

Blog Action Day 2010: It's a Wide, Wet, Water World

Image by datalove via FlickrOne of my favorite books of all time, "Dune", by Frank Herbert, deals (on one of its many layers) with a planet in the futuristic universe, Arrakis, the Desert Planet, from which a fierce race of people living within the planets cooler inner realms have been harnessing a precious commodity for their own planetary survival. No, not the geriatric "spice-melange" but water. The Fremen people of Arrakis, used to living on a harsh world of unending days of heat and sun and sand, have been harnessing water because of its scarcity and the promise of a new world it could bring them. They place an immense value on water, making it their true precious resource and someone with large amounts of water is one who is beyond wealth. The Fremen would even kill for water. Because it is scarce and precious, water has become the ultimate value to them.
When I first read the book (and the subsequent series), I was immediately struck by the ecology story. I became aware of the possibility of water and its intrinsic value, and became horrified at the possibility of living on a planet with hardly any water. I became afraid of drying out, of thinking of having to live below ground and hording water. I became afraid of thinking that war and genocide would come over water. I was then aware that I was taking water and its presence here on my planet for granted. I, at that moment, began to explore the truths of water conservation and the global effort to preserve and save this truly precious commodity here on Earth.
As a reader here, you may have seen the widgets I have posted on my site in support of water conservation and awareness. This is an important cause for me, and I hope for you as well. I have decided to take part in Blog Action Day this year because the cause we as a global blogging community are focusing on and discussing Water. It is VERY important. It is vital to our Health, our Humanity, to our Planet. Water is such an integral part of world; we are made of it. Water permeates every fabric of our Being. There are billions of people who do not even have access to clean water now. This is unfathomable to me. How can this be? Well, its easy to be true in actuality. Our Water Planet is drying up at alarming rates, people are having to live in remote places because of many different factors but mainly because they are on a search for clean water sources. Industrial pollution is contaminating water sources and making these sources no longer viable. We are wasting large amounts of water on trivial exploits or just simply polluting the sources we have unwittingly. Please take a moment to visit http://blogactionday.change.org/ and find out more about what you can do to help bring more awareness of the important of Water and the efforts put forth for conservation and outreach.
I want to thank everyone who has visited the widgets here and contributed to charity:water, which I have been involved with for two years now, and I hope you continue to do so.
Lets not take Water for granted. Lets make an effort to keep ourselves moist and vital, and keep the story of a distant desert planet in the annals of fiction and not reality, for if we do not take the steps now, we may be calling Earth by a new name: Dune.
-fggofstyle

The Icon Inspiration Series

Influence is all around us. It is there even if we don't look for it. It is natural for us to see in ourselves what influences and inspires us in all the areas of our lives. I have been taking a very examined look at what inspires and influences me and have come to a very deep appreciation for these inspirations. I feel that without them, I would not be as attuned and tapped in to my Creativity.

I am beginning an honor series called "The Icon Inspiration Series". Simply put, it is a dedicated space for the people, places, objects, and other things that Inspire and Influence me and my Creativity.
I hope that these things that ignite my passion and creativity will do the same for you, in their own supremely wise and magical way. Because really, we look to things that mirror in us what is good in feeling, and in how we look at ourselves and our world. And that's positively inspiring.
-feelgoodguru

A "Valentine": Masculine vs. Feminine

The following was originally written in 2005 in my personal digital journal in response to a conversation I was having over dinner with a group of young like-minded professionals who lived in my apartment building at the time. It appeared in a different form in its original entry, directed more in regards to the wider spectrum of our conversation and with some direction aimed at persons at the dinner.  What came from the entry was a letter of heart to myself, and all of its stirrings. I have held on to it with the intention of revising it and writing is as a "valentine" to myself. I began reading it again recently and decided to "finish" it and set it with a new heart and a mind. What follows is that "valentine" in its true form...
Enjoy and, as always, Love One Another.
-feelgoodguru

Masculine vs Feminine (Remixed + Revisited)

I am naturally androgynous and EASILY blur the gender lines. And yes, that extends 2 my mannerisms and the way that I speak. I am effeminate. I am 500% natural about it. I have always been this way and can't even think of how I would be if I were outwardly masculine; it wouldn't suit me. My feminine nature is the pre-dominate one yet this does not mean that I do not have a masculine nature as well. I am a human being, which means I am a being of balance. My masculine nature is one I know just as well as my feminine nature; he is quiet, contemplative, and analytical where my feminine is outgoing, willfully strong, assertive. Together they are conscious, thoughtful, caring, and wise.

In a social context where butch/fem roles play their part, the question (not one I ask of myself but one asked of me) is where do I fit in? What does my peculiar nature dictate where I stand in the social context? It has been asked of me because of my dual-nature, does it make me a fem with butch characteristics or a butch who is outwardly fem? Transgender (another topic entirely)? Am I a “gay dinosaur”, an extinct representation of the gay community of yesterday? Am I social freak, one that lives on the outer edges of society, outcast from the central core of the context or in a rock musical fantasy?

Having a strong feminine nature, I know it to be natural that I am attracted to masculine men. This comes about for me as an act of balance, in direct contrast to me physically, emotionally, socially, etc.  It is not easy, especially currently where the socially acceptable way for a gay man to be is masculine/butch (affected or natural, face it men that is what our gay social structure is dictating to the population). I understand the desire to be with a masculine man in contrasting and comparative relationship pairings (because that is what I AM attracted to) and I understand the nature of an effeminate man (because that is what I AM). I feel that it is an inherent masculine/feminine balance that connects male homosexuals: the feel, look, shape, smell, etc of a man's body, his tactile and strong way of loving to his quiet yet deep way of emoting and how he nurtures himself and his world that is directly opposite to the female. Isn't that a bit of what defines us as homosexual men?
In direct contrast are our society’s negative feelings about feminine qualities in men. Could it just be that we have been, and continue to be, socialized to place a negative view on effeminacy? I think and feel this to be so. I think the male machismo kicks in and rises up this fear of a feminine man, saying that he is “less-than”, stating that he is not “man” enough. If it is so bad then why do women find the gay feminine archetype more acceptable! All of this negative socializing has to stop. We cannot continue to raise future generations with these beliefs. The more this happens, the more difficult it becomes for society to accept those that are different and, to ultimately, evolve into a higher consciousness, a better understanding of our collective Love.

In my experiences in the gay dating circle, I have received the instant shutdown because of my effeminate nature. I see many examples of gay male couples and they are comprised of both masculine/”butch” guys. I often wonder how that pairing works: where is the masculine/feminine balance (or is it opposing examples)? Since I am not seeing these distinct markers, I surmise that they must be in place, perhaps just hidden from my view...? In the collective dating pool, why then is there such a quickness to tear down any possibility of connecting with a feminine man (oh, how I loathe the "no femmes" tagline)? I feel this may have stemmed from our early socialization and the factors placed then in how the gay community has come to accept them and how they view themselves. Our queerness dictates that we are unique; why don't we celebrate it instead of feeding it with negativity? How can we be a community when we don't even want to commune with each other? If these are to be the few (and only) choices in the gay community, then I am choosing to be a member of another community, one where the understanding of Self is more evolved and rooted in Equal and Unconditional Love.

I hear each and every day something about my effeminate self (mostly positive) from people I know and from people I don’t (at times). These positive remarks remind me that I am being honest and true to my Self first, and who I really am in this world and in my self, reminding me of my worth and value. As a balance, I hear on rare occasion something not so positive about my effeminate nature. I have grown to not let these non-positive remarks affect me and instead let them build my strength and inner resolve to continue to just be myself more and more.

I have always been and always will be exactly who I am: Me. Beautiful, attractive, androgynous, effeminate Me. I don’t see this to change into something else ever. Nor do I want it to; I have come to know and truly Love who I am, cultivating a Love that exceeds my own physical limits in this body. It permeates into the stratosphere, granting a welcoming touch to all of us, no matter the difference. It celebrates our individual uniqueness and admires the diversity. In truth, I may appear different but I am the same as anyone else: Human.
 For the modern, evolved homosexual man that I choose to share my life with and whom I love, this understanding will be easy and clear. He will share the same qualities and ideas as I do. He will be a member of the Human community. Yes, he will be masculine in balance to my feminine but he and I will be the Same, we will be One.  And isn’t that what Love really is? Yes, I know it and believe it to be so.  This masculine, charming, loving man of mine, for you I am here and I can ensure this: you are in for a wonderful treat: Love.

-Elgin

Nostalgia- A Desire for the Lost

I was reading this article on nostalgia and it got me thinking about it and how it is a constant reference in fashion. Nostalgia is a true desire for the lost, and fashion is a business and an industry and an art form based heavily on it. If nostalgia stirs up the depths of loss in our hearts (and minds), and has broken many people to the point of sickness and madness, then how can it be the root and the evolution of fashion?

The fashion business is fickle. It is constantly changing and evolving into something new, fresh, and bright. However, if it is based on nostalgia, is it changing?

We always hear references like “70’s chic”, “reminiscent of early 80’s power dressing”, “Girl Power”, “Minimalist”, and countless others. These references and the like become burned in our fashion brains because collections build not only on themselves but also on the trends they reference. This is constant. It happens every season at the shows and every month in the editorials. When fashion is innovative and new, it speeds forward ahead into the lexicon. The exciting new designer now gets a chance on the fashion stage, full of prospect and promise. If they maintain their ingenuity, they have a firm platform on which to build. I have seen this happening more rarely but when it does, it is amazing. The nostalgic reference disappears; what is found is the future.

When a trailblazer is taken away from our fashion lexicon and the industry too soon, we truly experience real loss. In my lifetime, this has happened only twice (in my opinion): Gianni Versace and, most recently, Alexander McQueen. Let us take these two geniuses of design and of their art, and appreciate them for their contribution and allow nostalgia to set in. For here is a real desire for the Lost.

-feelgoodguru

(photo credit: WesFeld gown made from plastic, from www.plasticsmakeitpossible.com, Alexander McQueen Fall 2009 Collection chain mail and snakeskin dress, from www.fashionolgie.com)

A Valentine 2 U

Today is a day that was set aside to remind us of our inherent and divine gift: Love.
Love is the essence of all things; without it there would be nothing except nothing. It is the color with which we paint our world. It is the heart with which we feel. It is the eyes with which we see. It fuels the mind with which we come to understand. It comes from a place of knowing.

Go out today, and every day as a matter of truth and fact, and cultivate, create, share, express, live, and be Love.

Enjoy it...the feelgood of Love.


I Love You (yes, you) for many things: especially because u take care in looking, feeling, and being good, with your own personal style and flair and energy. Thank u.
-feelgoodguru

Personality: Pleasing or Not?

Here is an article I received in my email inbox and had to share it. Please read and then see my comment afterward:


"Do You Have a Pleasing Personality?"  

by Peter Ragnar

In early Greek and Roman theater, actors were often called upon to play several parts in a single performance.  In order to accomplish this, they would wear a different mask to portray each character.  The mask, in Latin, was called a persona.  Today, many of us, while we wear no masks of theater, still play roles and recite scripts written by others.

"As we seek recognition, often the words of parents and peers echo in our ears: 'Be somebody!'"

Does that mean we should just pick a persona and play the prescribed role - or should we learn to be ourselves?  Ah!  Herein lies the problem.  There are just so many layers of learned falsity to strip away, and each one has become as dear to us as our own skin.  Hence, a great fear arises - who will I find behind the final mask?

Those invisible masks are constructed by a collection of emotional and behavioral traits that are considered to characterize the person.  That's generally how we define the term personality.

It's said we have a different face for everyone; while this may be true in some examples, who of us likes to be called "two-faced?"  No one that I know likes to be thought of as duplicitous.  Duplicity is the disguising of true intentions by deceptive words or actions.

"Politicians and religious leaders stand most accused by public polls of being 'two-faced.'" 

Oh, and let's not leave out sports heroes and celebrities.  Why do we seem to get so upset concerning double standards?  Is it possibly a reaction to our own duplicity that we try hard to bury beneath our masks?  Why is it so difficult to be ourselves?  Arguably, because we're so used to taking our cues from others.  We sit on command, wag our tails, and beg for approval instead of discovering we're most loved for being genuine. 

"To be authentic means one is free from hypocrisy or pretense." 

It means actually possessing the reputed or apparent qualities of character.  It means your persona is completely transparent or non-existent.  If you find something funny, you laugh.  If you find something sad, you cry.  If you feel love swelling your heart, you express it.  You're never embarrassed by being yourself authentically.

Since the authentic person wears no masks, there is no fear of exposure, nothing to defend; when one does not feel threatened, one feels no anger.  The authentic person needs no approval or endorsement; they have become more than enough to themselves.  They're autonomous, free, and independent.  They have no grievances, thus they're pleasant to be around. 

An attractive personality is a genuinely agreeable personality.  They attract other people to them by being attracted to others.  And please remember, we only attract people and conditions to us that, by the law of attraction, are magnetized by what we are.

"If you feel no need to impress others, you've created the space to be impressed by them." 

There is no more pleasing personality than one who is genuinely interested in another.  It becomes obvious by the look in your eye, the smile on your face, and the warmth of your hand.  The pleasing personality has a palpable electromagnetic vibration that can't be faked. Charm, allure, enchantment, or charisma can't be faked.  You can smile broadly, pump someone's hand enthusiastically, and turn the recipient cold because the falsity of the mask is obvious and the magnetism is missing. 

"A pleasing personality is made of soft words and warm hearts."

Two stoves may be identical, but it's only the stove with a fire stoked that radiates warmth, that person whose heart is aflame with a passion and love of life. The one with a sincere interest in others, free of flattery and falsity, is the one with a pleasing personality.

To you I extend warm hands and an open heart,

Peter

How many faces do you show to the world? What personality is the one that you show? It is interesting to me that the world we live in has become geared to showing many different "faces" at different times and to different people. When you choose to show just one face at all times to all things and to all people, it becomes more clear of the difference. I chose a very long time ago to live my life authentically. I chose to just show one face and my true personality. This choice has afforded me the ability to see the world more clearly and to share this insight and outlook with many people. I have always felt that by being authentic and being a pleasing person(ality), Life will be more rewarding and fulfilling. I have always subscribed to the "good" of this world, of the true optimism that exists. Do you feel the same way? Do you do the same thing? I hope after reading this, you will consider (or strengthen) your approach and do the "pleasing" thing. 

It's good, real good.

-fggofstyle

The Happiness Project

I am loving this book and its subsequent project, "The Happiness Project". Check out the site for more information and click on the button here on the blog to start your own now. It is a great way to get the new year and decade off to a personally valuable start: http://www.happiness-project.com




"If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad"...

-feelgoodguru