Personality: Pleasing or Not?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Here is an article I received in my email inbox and had to share it. Please read and then see my comment afterward:

"Do You Have a Pleasing Personality?"  

by Peter Ragnar

In early 
Greek and Roman theater, actors were often called upon to play several parts in a single performance.  In order to accomplish this, they would wear a different mask to portray each character.  The mask, in Latin, was called a persona.  Today, many of us, while we wear no masks of theater, still play roles and recite scripts written by others.

"As we seek recognition, often the words of parents and peers echo in our ears: 'Be somebody!'"

Does that mean we should just pick a persona and play the prescribed role - or should we learn to be ourselves?  Ah!  Herein lies the problem.  There are just so many layers of learned falsity to strip away, and each one has become as dear to us as our own skin.  Hence, a great fear arises - who will I find behind the final mask?

Those invisible masks are constructed by a collection of emotional and behavioral traits that are considered to characterize the person.  That's generally how we define the term personality.

It's said we have a different face for everyone; while this may be true in some examples, who of us likes to be called "two-faced?"  No one that I know likes to be thought of as duplicitous.  Duplicity is the disguising of true intentions by deceptive words or actions.

"Politicians and religious leaders stand most accused by public polls of being 'two-faced.'" 

Oh, and let's not leave out sports heroes and celebrities.  Why do we seem to get so upset concerning double standards?  Is it possibly a reaction to our own duplicity that we try hard to bury beneath our masks?  Why is it so difficult to be ourselves?  Arguably, because we're so used to taking our cues from others.  We sit on command, wag our tails, and beg for approval instead of discovering we're most loved for being genuine. 

"To be authentic means one is free from hypocrisy or pretense." 

It means actually possessing the reputed or apparent qualities of character.  It means your persona is completely transparent or non-existent.  If you find something funny, you laugh.  If you find something sad, you cry.  If you feel love swelling your heart, you express it.  You're never embarrassed by being yourself authentically.

Since the authentic person wears no masks, there is no fear of exposure, nothing to defend; when one does not feel threatened, one feels no anger.  The authentic person needs no approval or endorsement; they have become more than enough to themselves.  They're autonomous, free, and independent.  They have no grievances, thus they're pleasant to be around. 

An attractive personality is a genuinely agreeable personality.  They attract other people to them by being attracted to others.  And please remember, we only attract people and conditions to us that, by the 
law of attraction, are magnetized by what we are.

"If you feel no need to impress others, you've created the space to be impressed by them." 

There is no more pleasing personality than one who is genuinely interested in another.  It becomes obvious by the look in your eye, the smile on your face, and the warmth of your hand.  The pleasing personality has a palpable electromagnetic vibration that can't be faked. Charm, allure, enchantment, or charisma can't be faked.  You can smile broadly, pump someone's hand enthusiastically, and turn the recipient cold because the falsity of the mask is obvious and the magnetism is missing. 

"A pleasing personality is made of soft words and warm hearts."

Two stoves may be identical, but it's only the stove with a fire stoked that radiates warmth, that person whose heart is aflame with a passion and love of life. The one with a sincere interest in others, free of flattery and falsity, is the one with a pleasing personality.

To you I extend warm hands and an open heart,


How many faces do you show to the world? What personality is the one that you show? It is interesting to me that the world we live in has become geared to showing many different "faces" at different times and to different people. When you choose to show just one face at all times to all things and to all people, it becomes more clear of the difference. I chose a very long time ago to live my life authentically. I chose to just show one face and my true personality. This choice has afforded me the ability to see the world more clearly and to share this insight and outlook with many people. I have always felt that by being authentic and being a pleasing person(ality), Life will be more rewarding and fulfilling. I have always subscribed to the "good" of this world, of the true optimism that exists. Do you feel the same way? Do you do the same thing? I hope after reading this, you will consider (or strengthen) your approach and do the "pleasing" thing. 
It's good, real good.



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